am i morally bankrupt?
no. its just the recession
i love how cold weather makes identifying sluts easier. is it below freezing? is she wearing a tube top? she's easy.
you know you've made it when it's your own pool table you're waking up on
He started making shapes and faces with his cock and balls.... apparently if you wrap the shaft with your balls and turn it 90 degrees to the left it looks like a hamburger
I just wanted to clarify that I am not bisexual and had no intentions of ACTUALLY penetrating my roommate with a can of bugspray.
Man, I must say, having known you since preschool, Eiffel-Tower-ing her would've fully completed our journey to brotherhood.
ok perfect im about to bedazzle our mini keg named hans. he is ready to rage
You gave me balls I gave you half a boob. Fair trade
Just got a Snapchat of his dick with the caption 'We miss you.'
That's true love, there.
Totally forgot I asked the cop for a theoretical fist bump and he still let me drive away
She's legally too young to drink and was making out with a guy who is ethically too old to drink.
After we finished having sex, he drunkenly tried to hugh five me, farted, then accused me of stealing his socks.
Okay, yeah, judgmental guy at 7/11. I'm buying g wine at 10:20 in the morning. You wanna fight about it?
It was probably bad to sleep with someone just to pet his dog right?
He had a small dick and screamed "I will kill you if you don't get hard" to it in German...awkward time to have to explain I speak German too...
This is why you need to stop sleeping with freshmen.
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