wat bout pragnant strippers??
don't go home with that guy from jersey
i know, not worth the blood test
i wish there were pregnant emoticons
I wish there was a morning after pill that made you instantly sober
Talking to this girl is like playing minesweeper on hard. There's red flags everywhere.
you say it like running around in your thong wasted is a bad thing
I think I actually have rug burn on my eye.
Just a heads up, i'm sleeping in te back seat of your car so don't be freaked out when you see me in the A.M.
wow thanks for pushing me towards an older man
you gotta start somewhere if you're going to be a trophy wife
Woke up in your shoes. Please tell me you woke up in mine
Was considering going to moonshine but I think I'm just gonna stay home and drink beer because there is no law against partial nudity here.
forgot to tell you your neighbor walked out of her house this morning just as I was leaving shirtless
There's no time frame.
For drinking wine out of the bottle and taking nyquil at 9 AM? There probably should be.
At one point of the night i was standing at the bar and 3 of them had their hands down my pants, they were like thumb wrestling for it.
Lol I'm just saying its too early for your penis, I can accept it but at a more decent hour
Randomize
