she cant drink. allergic to alcohol.
ewwww. she might as well have a dick.
just won 30 on black! Ok adicteddd! Never coming back gqmbeqing is easy.
now my debit card is betting 1k whoops. im gongk eh be rich!!!
whoops didnt work. think the gambeli mashine is busters!! now im betting 2k?! bad idea?
I have two black x marks on my hands.
Yep you got cut off last night after a stripper bent over in front of you and you screamed very loudly 'I can see your soul from here'
damnit I wish I could remember that.
No no no. When you take one for the team, there are no stipulations or conditions
We were sitting in my backseat and he just kept biting me and telling me we weren't at the zoo...
they won't let me drive with my sombrero
He's still filling me in on the details. mid-table dance i asked to go water skiing?
She was pretty drunk. It was like watching a puppy explore the world for the first time.
So apparently the only parts of last night I remember didn't actually happen.. When did vodka become a hallucinogen?
That man gives me hope. I can't help it. And by "hope" I mean "wood."
Is it frowned upon to puke at Keeneland while you're betting on horses or is it just whatev
I'm drinking and working out! I'm bench pressing the beer pong table and doing push ups and lifting the chair.
He came over and watched the USA game with me, fucked me so good my toe cramped, then made my bed this morning before he left. Thank God for Army rangers
Why did I ever allow that penis to enter my sacred temple?
Got to work this morning and thought... Did I really dance on that pole last night
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