You surviving the open bar?
Super asto ex polenta omaha botad
im sure we could have fun without alcohol but i just dont wanna chance it...
If you're going to watch porn, can you atleast be considerate and watch it on my old laptop and not the new one?
I've never watched DWTS before, but this show's got Pamela Anderson, Erin Andrews and Brooke Burke: 3 of my top 10 all time most masturbated to women.
this dude just took some girl under your house for half an hour. you may have helped a 17 year old fuck on the beach for the first time. congrats.
sold 4 oz of weed today pantsless. man i love college.
You insisted on calling your mixture of Bacardi & powdered milk "a Jamacian Facial."
So stoned i forgot i was in bed
The name of tonight's festivities is hereby decreed to be the "Honey Boo Boo Hootenanny".
I just want someone to shove bread from panera down my throat
You were so drunk you coat checked your shoe... Not even both of them. Just one shoe.
So I woke up alone in the hotel room clutching a bible to my chest. Explain, please.
I'm graduating college in 4 days. I already miss the bad decisions
i just want to get drunk and cry and have sex with lots of men
it's like that time i was drunk at relay for life. but with balloon animals...
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