Do you remember last night at all? Be honest
I need to look at the pictures on my camera to fill in the gaps.
next time dont tell jokes :) miss bonerkill
we drove through mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu. We told the workers that were making Super Size Me 2, drove away without paying and told them to bill our producer.
They had some plan b on the table between the beer and the guacamole. Yeah, it's gonna be a fun party.
Don't park in the garage. I installed a stripper pole while drunk and it's kinda in the way
What's the policy for hitting on a girl at a funeral? She seems more bored than sad.
5 am booty call.. And I went I need to gain better control of my vagina
where are you guys? the police just woke me up on the couch outside.
Well since its impossible for me to swallow a pill this big I'm making wine slushies out of them
That's some primal shit right there. My vagina is all like CONSUME HIM AND HIS FRUIT HE WILL GIVE YOU SONS!
Finally another gay clarinet player. They're surprisingly rare.
You were dancing to the Bee Gees, at 3am, with a piece of ham on your head. Moral of the story, You can't drink.
If I die at work, I want you to have my mustache collection
Just keep me informed about your plans. That way i can figure out places to go and if i need to shave my balls
So I slept with some guy last night and when I woke up in the am couldnt remember his name. I text him n asked "How do you spell your name?" to try n find out and all he replied was "With an A." WTF!?
Randomize
