The guy I fucked in the port a poty just called me and asked me on a date!
Awkward!
No he was cute and I said yes!
I seriously just caught my 15 year old little sister with a positive pregnancy test coming out of the bathroom. Honest to God.
I have a coat hanger and a baseball bat. Her choice.
Who would have thought the night we were surrounded by 4 cops would be the most responsible night of the week.
I'm in the room..It's full of lost souls and sadness. I can taste the salt of their tears. This final might take a few freshman today..
I just laughed at the word pudding. I have no idea whats going on right now.
Your heart is a swirling cauldron of blackness that does not pump blood but rather a sludgey mixture of evil and broken dreams.
Doing a circuit workout and using a power hour playlist for my 1 minute timers. I am getting old. creative, but old.
STOP WHATEVER YOU ARE DOING AND GO OUTSIDE RIGHT NOW. THE MOON LOOKS LIKE CATWOMAN
I walk in and my roomie is fucking her bf while wearing lingerie and minnie mouse ears. Right in the childhood.
So really what you're asking for is an allowance to not have sex on our futon.
I'm currently on a bowling date with my girlfriend and her boyfriend. It's pretty fun.
All boys are excommunicated from my vagina until further notice.
I think I've done enough damage with my vagina as of late, thank you
just had sex in a stairwell with six feet five inches worth of drama
Just a typical Friday. Dinner, drinks, doing lines with a member of Congress
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