haha you were like: "I don't want to uh pressure you.." as you took your own shirt off
great, thanks for announcing that I gave you head over twitter
at least I said it was good
We stayed in and smoked weed and watched Dreamgirls. We made each other's vaginal lips sing the songs. Mine was Beyonce, hers was Jamie Foxx. I think this is one of those times you're jealous you're not an awesome lesbian.
I'm not sure if it was sex or spear fishing. He goes in for it like he's crash landing a rocket
Just slept with a female bodybuilder. not cute. but it was like fucking hulk hogan with a twat. Beastly.
im so disgusted with myself. funny thing was i lasted 15 seconds. she benches 325
You need to simmer down or I'm going to buy you a labia leash.
Watermelon juice. Makes everything better. Gin. Wine. EVERYTHING.
100 proof captain the only man who can make me strip during a snowstorm
He was respectful of both me and my One Direction calendar.
nothing out of the ordinary. you aplogized for having a spicy vagina and passed out
I'll meet you in hell with unlimited boxes of wine though
Im sorry you'll never get the feeling of closeness when you go to pee outside and you realize you're peeing right where someone else just peed
Nothing ruins an orgasm faster than accidentally calling out his boss's name
I am now gainfully employed. Parents, lock up your children.
Yay! Welcome to the world of "you're seriously trusting me with your kid?"
His penis is average but his stamina is amazing!!! I didn’t know I had that many orgasms in my body!!!!
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