uhhh i just had a guy tell me he's seen more jam bands and done more drugs than i could err imagine. what a turn on.
Mario Lopez is the poor mans Ryan Seacrest
look mate, i'm pretty sure 14 texts saying "fuck me. fuck me now" more than passes the legal benchmark for consent.
We did it and he fell asleep and I was bored so I decided to go back to the party...is that bad?
I just woke up wearing the O-ring from my dildo harness as a bracelet. Classy.
Dude, smoked out of a pumpkin tonight. I like Halloween more now
I bruised my spine.. Jungle gyms were clearly not meant for sex.
I know you claim to have a large penis but I do not believe in what i cannot see. Sort of like god.
Just bought a waterproof mattress cover. Bring it on sophomore year.
I'm pretty sure when you walk down Broadway and can pick out people you've slept with.. It might be a problem. I'm leaving for rehab tomorrow.
It turns out tequila bombs is really code for straight shots of tequila…who would have guessed?
A guy is going to be inside me and I'm gunna start singing "I am stuck on your penis, cause your penis is stuck in meeee!"
This mustache is awesome. I can't pass by a mirror without looking in it and thinking damn, I'd like to give that guy a handy.
I'm just wondering how Jon managed to get vomit ON THE CEILING?
Wanna buy a dildo with me during your lunch break tomorrow?
Randomize
