Well how sick are u. Ive got a good immune system.
I swear coke makes your nose hairs grow out of control
Well you broke that rule when you put it in your mouth.
Did someone do a keg stand in my bathtub?
Gravity stopped and i'm discussing Greek philosophy with two guys I don't know. There's someone asleep on me. We need to use their dealer.
We're pregaming our midterms. Also, when we get our tests back, we're taking a shot for every point we lost. If you're not in, you should just go ahead and transfer.
Do you have any idea how horrifying it is to hear your sister and her husband fucking then immediately go down stairs only to hear your parents fucking....... I wish I was Hellen Keller right now.
He seems to have a lot of things figured out and most of the answers involve bourbon
I just put bacon on a thin mint and enjoyed the shit out of it. I better not be fucking pregnant.
You were running around waving the flier in everyone's face and thats how we ended up in a church eating free breakfast tacos at 3 am
I honestly don't think it will ever get topped. Unless a real female cop arrests me, then fucks me. That's it.
All I've consumed in the last 24 hours is cranberry vodka and kosher for passover biscotti
That's what happens when you party with the tribe
He showed me his scar from his appendix surgery. It was educational and fun....
I’ve had a lot of vodka, 3 different dicks and no food since last night. Come get me
Just bedazzled a flask, while drinking out of it. Hot glue is EVERYWHERE.
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