Do you think there are girls out there that really do like small penis?
Guess who got arrested for public drunkiness, and called jimmy johns for the entire station last night instead of someone to bail me out? The cop that arrested me drove me home. Win.
there's no food at this bar, but i'm pretty sure vodka is made of wheat so i'm basically drinking bread.
i drank out of a bidet.
I just imagined you going baby-crazy and trying to shove him up into your uterus. Yes, I'm aware he's 7 years old.
If a girl called me a promiscuous philandering Casanova, should I say thank you?
Most definitely.
I had sex on the roof of the dorm last night ... I feel like a combination of spiderman and van wilder
She started giving me head while we were watching the Walking Dead premiere, WORST BJ EVER.
He said he cried as he watched porn yesterday; I'd say he's taking the break-up pretty bad....
I'm glad your nude photos turned out "classy" but you cannot hang them in the living room.
I mean. I'm excited for the Seahawks too. I just love nachos.
I had the choice between 9 burritos and 1 girl...
And...?
He brought me Plan B in the snowstorm.
A+ 👏🏼
Look fucker, my sensibility and attention to detail is the ONLY REASON you're not dead now
When we were in Vegas he tried to get an Elvis impersonator to act dead on a toilet so he could take photos. This is even worse
Randomize
