Only in Montana can you find Septic Services that would display "Christian owned and operated" on the side of the truck. I'm oddly going to miss this state.
The drink u got me is pineapple something w. Cigarete ashes in it.ima drink it anyway
Now I'll never know if Megan finds a millionaire.
Do you know how hard it is to conceal the fact that you puked all over the bed that someone is sleeping in?
Puked in a plastic neiman Marcus bag while driving. My biggest accomplishment yet
I'm still not walking right. We need some boundaries for "drink-or-dare"...
I'm in a hotel full of Marines. I'm leaving here pregnant.
Only once have I found myself in the condom aisle holding a bundt cake...
obviously he wasnt ready for this jelly and you can quote me on that
There are panties and mini bottles of Fireball in my purse. Except for the broken toe incident, I'd say last night was probably a success.
Come over. I've made 2 dinners and so many cocktails. I'm a 50's housewife with no family.
I'm wearing spiderman underwear, the question is what am I NOT capable of
I'm at the point in my life where I'm gonna sell my eggs for cash
Go makeout with Mickey Mouse so we can get FastPass tickets
I'm just wondering how Jon managed to get vomit ON THE CEILING?
Randomize
