then he goes, "ok, i have to go talk to the girl i'm semi-talking to/dating and see if i'm in trouble" WHAT IS MY LIFE?!
thank you for introducing me to everyone on chat roulette as I was passed out.
Did you really end last night's sexting with "Stay thirsty my friend"?
The entire time I'm blowing him she's in the back seat lecturing me on the reasons why you're not suppose to do that while they're driving...
Just witnessed a fat waitress doing whipits in the back of a waffle house.. my life seems a little brighter..
I ended up in a bathroom giving my hymen a pep talk
I was hooking up with him and then someone banged on the door and shouted "When you get the chance, will you put the weed on the veranda?"
Fun times on public transportation. I just had a guy imply that I was racist cause I didn't want to talk to him when I was clearly reading my book and he was clearly on coke.
I was so high I didn't realize I'd put on someone else's bra. I thought my boobs had shrunk.
Do they sell "congrats in losing your virginity!" cards and do they come in gay?
You guys are like the reason that ketamine is a controlled substance.
The Olympian is in my bed
I woke up with my my shoes on and pants half way off and missing 60 dollars. Please please please tell me you saw me last night.
I went to finger her and found a penny. I think ill keep it.
I just came in my own mouth don't ask me how cuz it really hurt and felt good at the same time.
Randomize
