why is it impossible to run with a back pack without looking like a giant d-bag?
haha... you gave me a great visual of you in high white socks running with a backpack with eye of the tiger playing in the background
that only happened once.
You cheat on me once, shame on me. You cheat on me with a white girl, it's fucking over
This whole living in Ohio thing is getting reaaaaallly old.
To put it in a frame of reference with which you're familiar, it was like making out with a golden retriever.
just chugged some gatorade and threw it up. todays gonna be awesome
If the boyfriend of the drunk girl you just met asks her if she made a "special friend" you're going to have a threesome. For future reference.
Just heard the words 'Pussy Riot' on NPR...I almost crashed my car.
I couldn't figure out her damn button fly jeans... IM NOT A FUCKING ENGINEER
I immediately retract my statement involving hylecopters being allowed to blow up sharks out of the water.... The idea if it is super incredible but ultimately it would be cruel and unessesary
I peed my pants and am still dancing with guys at the club because I liked my outfit too much to change. Call the ratchet emergency
My roommate fed me my birth control pill while I was hungover laying on the couch so that's how my morning has been
That awkward moment when you are on your way to ICU and the only sympathy gift you can think of is beer and whiskey
Why are my jeans soaking wet and smell like chlorine??
Bc u told a stranger in the hotel "I have sinned' and made him get into the hotel fountain and "baptize u". I've got a vid
I have tasted many bathrooms
Let me atleast have my coffee before you start talking about your penis
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