I'm drinking ghetto ass mojitos!
Wow. How can mojitos be ghetto?
Squirt + bacardi limon + limes = ghetto mojitos
Where you at
assisting at a photo shoot in williamsburg till 7ish. wassup?
Doesn't matter. I already jerked off in your bed.
The duggars are the reason premarital sex is ok. Because if you don't have it until marriage you have no self control when it happens. And 19 kids.
you know i'm gay cause i'd have sex with lady gaga. what straight man would say that?
He met a random girl on the bus home and decided to go to Spain with her. The blackout decisions are becoming internationally epic. He has work in the morning.
Ur gonna wake up early as dick tomorrow to do some responsible shit but im the one up at 3 am right now cooking brats soaked in keystone light so fuck your falling asleep ass bitch
Your panties and toothbrush are in your mailbox. just not ready to be with anyone serious. take care.
hooked up with the gay kid & his friend's mom told me "you know he has a identical twin brother whose straight, right?"
The cat be actin like a 2:30 am poop is the time to tell me all about her thoughts and fears in life. No bitch, this is definitely alone time.
I'm so high right now that I'm wearing gloves.
The Olympian is in my bed
Calm down I'm not kidnapping the bartender
69'd by candlelight when the power went out.
I’m drunk and naked and looking for my charger - title of my autobiography.
hopefully I won't be diving through a thorn bush to escape an explosion this time
Randomize
