My liver just broke up with me...
True but thats because hes a fetus.
spencer pratt says his family invinted chess
that kid is like the al gore of hollywood.
The dry cleaners wouldn't even take our clothes. That's how bad of a night it was.
Taking back a box of condoms is possibly the most depressing thing i've ever done
I wish! That ended in 2001 when we all got collectively band from the Settle Inn. As a group we are also band from social events at the zoo. It's impressive really.
I have a way to get him back. you're going to have to take one for the team and make a visit to the health department. you in?
Update... last night a man tried to bite my ear. I think he swallowed my pearl earring.
I'm home alone drinking wine, so high, scrubbing my house down... This is what my thirsty thursday has become
He held the kayak still so I wouldn't tip over while projectile vomiting. If that ain't true love, I don't know what is...
Like, she can be the shepard of the gays. Delivering him unto homosexuality.
im watching blue is the warmest color at the music box and this dude is literally masturbating 3 feet in front of me
Geez don't go to a bar for a few days and everyone freaks out.
That's good to know, because I will be doing terrible things to you. Terrible things, John, wicked, evil, maniacal things shall happen to you and I will have the audacity to call it sex
STILL COMPLETELY OKAY WITH THIS
maybe you should have closed the porn before you gave the professor your computer to hook up to the projector?
Randomize
