its not stalking. its research.
We took shots in honor of Shark Week.
I need a leather bustier to keep them in.
Too kinky for 11:30am. Stop that.
I think vodka calistinics prior to and during beer olympics was a bad idea
fter the third song from an iPod commercial played I realized how much that frat sucked.
I'm over this relationship. I'm just going to get drunk all day, wake up in a puddle of my own vomit again, and go on with my life
Just thought you should know the man you CHOSE to father your children has once again fallen asleep on the toilet. thanks mom
There are two women in my bed. I'm gonna have a bowl of noodles so I can better understand my success.
My genitals don't want beer. They want to not feel like they wandered into a hornet's nest.
So apparently when I'm drunk and want water I pant like a dog and expect to have water given to me..
Ugh, I should just give up, and fuck him in a parking lot, and shave my head and walk naked through the streets of King's Landing.
I LACK THE NECESSARY BRAIN FUNCTIONS TO BE ABLE TO PROPERLY RESPOND TO THAT
Also I literally googled "how to fold socks" so that's how my day is going. How's yours?
Why did I wake up covered in glitter next to a half eaten cheeseburger?
Last night I had a dream that a man with an ice cream body entered a bicycle throwing contest and won.
Randomize
