I just saw a neon sign in a bar window that says, "open to Public" but the L is burnt out.
Yes someone did see you carrying a beer bong on the side of coastal highway
Sex and the city 2 and twilight getting released in the same month. God hates mankind.
apparently when the FedEx truck drove by, we tried to chase it down thinking they were delievering a 30 pack...great night.
Hurricane Earl: Get Blown party at my house friday! Byob: bring your own bitch/booze. Must have 80s blown hair style, kazoo/noise maker (vuvuzelas/airhorns are allowed), and/or bubble wands. \n
Why am I even shocked you're doing this....
I just remember taking her cat for a walk around 3 am then falling asleep in a slide at the park
Please don't tell me I was shouting "I'm bleeding from my vagina" in front of my ex-boyfriend and his new girlfriend.
he made a bon jovi sex playlist and started crying when "i'll be there" came on... how was your night?
I feel like we need a drunken piñata bash with your face being the piñata and my hopes and dreams being the stick
Making drunken Mac n cheese at 3 am I understand why witches constantly stir their cauldrons. Much more homogenized temperature and slim chance of boiling over. Good job witches.
I know. I feel like I should be doing mature responsible adult things though. Like getting loans, working 60 hours every week and not eating burritos in bed, ya know?
I shaved last nite, you should see my cock it looks like a beautiful skyscraper
There's someone howling in the parking lot. Haha.
I may or may not have puked in the ladies room. Now I get to convince my client to go to substance abuse treatment. Oh, the irony.
I'm drunk eating a quesadilla while this kid is tryina come over and I'm just like no. I want the quesadilla.
Randomize
