Boobs. All I remember is boobs.
talking dirty on facebook chat is the new phone sex.
Have thirty minutes until my shift starts. My heart says liquor store but my future says no
Wat the fuck dude ketchup in my bong???
only clue right now is the orange grease all on my clothes. debit card denied so I know something weird went down..
I can't. I will literally throw up my liver
Why dont you be an ebola patient for halloween? You can totally throw up and itll be part of your costume.
Only you could walk of shame to a childrens pirate themed birthday party
We're not on Beacon Street anymore so now your argument about not peeing on the sidewalk holds no water. Whereas my bladder has holded every water.
just won 200$ from the school for "liking" the anti-alcohol seminar. putting it to good use
how?
not even kidding, my fake id is arriving in 6-8 business days
That's not your dick yours is smaller. Nice try.
Wait why do you have a pic of someone else's dick in your phone?
So, it's been almost 3 months and and I still dont know her last name. That's gotta be a record.
The only person more miserably hungover from the party is the dog, and that's because he ate some balloons
7% of guys ive been with can get me off... I did the math!
Wanna bang and Pregame work? I know you're the manager just promise to not fire me
You know why I love being a regular at this bar? It's because at a certain point last call is only a suggestion.
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