It's just you. You wear the fuck me fedora and wear baller shorts, hollywood hippie who thinks she is shakira when she's drunk.
I'm so horny!
I'm so hungry
WHAT A TERRIBLE REPLY!
For your pussy...
I just wanna buy a tempur-pedic so i can drink in bed and not spill
I woke up with $100 in my pocket and I was so excited until I found an atm receipt for a $500 withdrawal. Not as exciting.
It may be that your sole purpose in life is simply to serve as a warning to others..
You said "i miss him" not "i miss his dick." You're getting emotionally attatched. Shame.
Any day you don't mysteriously wake up in the garbage is a good day.
and then you seriously asked him to senior prom..which freaked him out since you told him earlier you were 22
don't let me wipe my vag with a dirty leaf outside of mcdonalds ever again.
im that hungover where parking at red lights has to be done
I haven't seen her in ages, how is she?
Well I woke up next to her this morning so I guess I would say she could be doing better
He's grinding topless with a group of girls to that discovery channel song. May I take a message?
Is it bad that whip cream tastes like sex to me?
So what happened at girls night? My roomate found me passed out locked out on the front steps of the house and it was raining. Yes low moment
the orange of my hangover Tang is hurting my eyes... my coworkers knew it was hangover Tang too.
Randomize
