I tried to use my car keys to open my door
I just started a sentence with yellow.
just took my ibuprofen with ramen broth, yay college
She always manages to outslut me. I can't keep up
u girls! girls! girls! have fun please don't hook up w/ a roadie! Love, mom
We make out exclusively when we're drunk. That's like a relationship for me, right?
You were so excited to be getting 4 tickets to the Whale Rodeo.... That high
my vagina hasn't met your boyfriend yet ... makes me sad
Happy you have kids and I don't day!
He could only go twice. I need a guy with more stamina and is less married
too bad we didn't bet. my 38-1 tears would have made great lubrication for a blow job.
Aint no party like a Broke College Girls Eating Stuffed Crust Pizza party
Just threw up in the trash can at my desk. I guess "beating the hangover" eventually leads to this.
If its not for food we ain't going out.
Honey...this isn't my 20's. This is my 30's. I paid for this house and these expensive ass sheets to fuck in them. Get your ass over here.
Remember that one time you told the bartender he was fuckable? Well, he's here.
Randomize
