i threw up in a trash can last night at kellys irish times. but in a trash can because i'm a lady
he quoted Bring It On. It's over.
I woke up with semen in my invisalign. My molars were just marinating in it
i just walked by a road side game of beer pong? it's gonna be a long day
All i remember was he was wearing billibong pants... well actually my mom found that out for me.
curled up in a ball on my bed listening to my "cuddle with a boy" playlist. prettty high.
mom in a round about way told me to either donate my eggs or become a surrogate bcuz I need money.
I think your going to be the cause of an awesome death
Just made a list of all the guys I've hooked up with. "Roofie tattoo eyelids", "xanex night guy", "rainy concert", "cory blanket" and "naked hottub guy" made it.
We're pretty much just dating until one of our ex's wants us back
You know you're a heffer when you discover chocolate frosting on your smoking apparatus
Dude, there are some things that you can't un-see. Her, beached on a dog bed, is one of them.
My date bailed but I got to take a nap so I'm cool with it.
There’s nothing that says motivation more than watching these little geniuses on Kids Baking Championship New Year’s Day. I’m ready to fuck shit up this year.
Sooooooooooooo you woke up on a rooftop. Classy
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