I knew the sex would be bad when he slipped the rubber on and said "safe sex activated"
I fell asleep at the bar. And the bouncer threw a snowball at my face.
dude chill. we stole 18 hamburgers from her house
no. you cant fuck a burger.
And then out of the blue she sent me a youtube video mashup of cats puking to techno music
At least my fat-chick-ratio has not been that bad this semester ...
Would you like to partake in getting high as fuck with your best friend and then proceeding to cry over the shit head guys we deal with?
She called it a palate cleanser. She and her friend dike it out once a year before returning to dick
Together or do they pick up? How far do they go? IS AN AUDIENCE PERMITTED? GODAMIT ANSWERS MAN!!!!!!
See,its just the last time this situation happened I ended up hiding in a closet on my birthday
I think I used my NERF gun during sexual roleplay. Need to re-evaluate my life choices.
I shaved my pussy for you. If you complain about a single hair that I missed again, you will be greeted by a bush the next time you go down on me and i will MAKE YOU KEEP GOING
I checked her ID this morning. Lets just say...she's older than my mom
I'm pretty sure that waking up butt ass naked with a bottle of 151 and a note that said "I didn't want to wake you up, but thanks" proves I had a good time....god bless America
I have beer and butt plugs...pretty sure I will find a way to entertain myself while I wait
You sent me a pic of you peeing in two separate directions
and like half a dozen dick pics
This is the most exciting thing since movie theater hand jobs
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