Her body is shaped like a coke bottle...a two liter coke bottle
Vegas for my brothers bachelor party. Just landed and I have a boner. I'm giggly and teary eyed I'm so excited.
Telling her that my penis is called megatron was not a good idea for a first date.
dont quote avril lavinge. im to drunk.
it sucked. he totally couldn't get it up. blamed it on never having cheated b4. Couldn't stop laughing. fuck.
there should be laws that require people like to me to be on birth control.
You three are like the Bermuda Triangle for morals.
sorry can't make it tonight, greg's getting back from italy. he's had two weeks of carbs and no gym; now's my chance to get myself a piece of that newly-fat, low self-esteemed ass.
Kurt said to text you and encourage you to come out tonight. Encourage you with my rack.
He actually offered up a silent prayer thanking God for my "tremendous ass." You tell me how my night is going.
she got the mcdonald's logo tattooed on her ass. sober. yesterday at noon.
It's Friday the 13th and you just got boned by a guy named Jason....
And ANOTHER guy that I once got naked is doing gay porn now. Wtf? Am I the audition?!
I've never met a penis that didn't think I was awesome.
And then he tried to convince me that he could wear a condom instead of pants to go out.
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