I am a bulletproof tiger!
Haha. Nice, be careful tonight.
I'm gonna have to get my windshield replaced. Is the keg beat?
A little girl and i are having a face making battle in mcdonalds
She started it, but I totally finished it.
I feel uncomfortable when she gargles my jizz.
he passed out on the stove with a cup in his hand. yes the pictures are hilarious
I wasted some perfectly good semen on her
Its Friday night, and I'm sitting at home watching are you smarter then a 5th grader, drinking vodka. I got every single question wrong. Clearly you see where I'm headed in life.
Yes, I am about to pass out on my beanbag with a mason jar of wine. Welcome to the south freshmen.
Two words. Shotgunning Cognac.
This has already gotten way out of hand
Apparently I filled my purse with chicken nuggets and told my mom I was a "sexual squirrel."
Is a swingers hotel appropriate for an anniversary?
There's no time frame.
For drinking wine out of the bottle and taking nyquil at 9 AM? There probably should be.
Wtf. So apparently this 5 star establishment doesn't allow strip putt putt in the parking lot. We all just got kicked out of our rooms.
I've slapped too many boys and done too many naked laps for it only to be 10:30pm
I opened my eyes to the dog snorting coke, I decided it was best to just close my eyes and forget what I saw
My roommate walked in on my inserting a tampon. Somehow, I don't think this will be improving our relationship.
Randomize
