Shes from jersey what did you expect her to say when you asked her if she did coke? Its like asking some1 from a third world country if they are hungry
So she is eating her margarita with tortilla chips....like using her chip as a spoon
she told me she sucks everyone's dick but mine because mine is too big and "hard to suck" i need to reevaluate the girls i fall in love with.
I've never heard a "this is the reason why i dont suck your cock" explanation go in that direction
So dude, she and I just got done having the most amazing sex, and then she rolled over and said that "lets make some tacos" and proceeded to the kitchen... naked... I'm buying the ring tomorrow
Even the French judge on the olympics would give that a 10
ironically, his detergent was also "small and mighty"
Hey. I found $5 in quarters from one of those state quarter collection books. I'm using it for food tomorrow.
Theres an amvulance here. It might be for me
Just a heads up, the coffee pot is filled with Jager.
Apparently, Mom was less-than-happy about us shotgunning beers before we opened presents.
I wish my head, heart, dick, and nose could just agree on something for once
Note for the future: whiskey syrup is AMAZING on 3am pancakes.
It feels like one of my ribs evaporated.
which one of you assholes put my new jeans down the garbage disposal?!
The dog just shocked himself by peeing on Christmas lights, should I have saw that coming?
Why can't you just be normal and get dick pics from your exes like everyone else?
Randomize
