He was from Iceland of course I didnt sleep with him, havent you seen Mighty Ducks 2???
bet u 5 dollars u can't guess were i woke up this morning
oh god.. jail?
better, on the catwalk of the auditorium
literally every day that goes by where he doesn't talk to me makes me more determined to get him to have sex with me
before you smothered your pizza in mayo you blotted it with a napkin saying you were trying to watch your fat intake
I'm pretty sure we've had sex a bunch more times than we've hugged. So hugs are weird when they happen.
I want to start this convo out by apologizing for the broken toaster.
judging by my wet hair I would guess I showered at the bartenders apt last night?
I have an explanation for how we got this drunk this fast... but you wont like it. We are officially in complete liver failure.
My dad got me a charm braclet....his way of trying to support my gayness....
Hey man, I found your crocs and your visor in the road. Got em for you.
Just got gas in my car for the first time while high. Went better than expected.
guess who got crunk and thought it would be a good idea to give herself a pixie cut?
THOUGHT
I have 3 bottles of vodka in my room telling me not to go to work tomorrow.
So is it weird that I am super excited for my new captain america clit ring... Or is my crotch getting too patriotic
Chili is not acceptable fuck buddy food.
Randomize
