Hey I found your number in my phone i dont remember how we met this is richard btw
strange i dont have your number must have been a drunk thing
could be more
absolutely not
I don't think your that much of a whore. your like a whore-let. a mini whore.
ice luge is my downfall...
...u mean upfall.
period poops. best. ever.
omigod im sitting here with ben and he and i both got that...chick you totally just mass texted that...
If I had a nickel for every time my parents threatened to stop paying tuition I would be a very rich man. Rich enough to pay my own tuition.
Cognac is not meant to be taken in shots. I just wanted you to know the desperation of last night.
He just remixed a spongebob song with 2 chainz..... Clearly I love him
If we go out with the 22/23 year olds we should make t a double date. I don't want to endure the judging looks of the public as I rob the cradle alone.
Bone him for me, BONE HIM TWICE FOR ME.
I've slept in a different bed every day this week. Operation Ho Ho Ho is a success!
Sometimes I really think that if... When your stoned you have a catlike ability to just relax in any position
Just delivered a pizza to a holiday inn and a delivery driver from Me n Ed's walked up at the same time, we both were going to the same floor so we stood in the elevator making small talk about delivery stuff, but a small part of me wanted to deck him, stand over him and shout,"FOR THE HUT MOTHERFUCKER, FOR THE HUT!"
Jesus christ, don't start a pizza delivery gang war.
I'm standing up, for my all my brothers and sisters, and fighting against whiskey dick.
I had a dream that we had an entire sofa made out of cocaine.
Babe, I'm gunna be straight with you. When you act like a dick it makes me regret not fucking my manager last week.
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