Well yesterday i made out with the entire football team and rifht at this very moment our waiter looks like a ken doll. Straight up. And he gave me wine so ill probly make out with him
college has opened so many doors for you
Made out with me girlfriend while she was peeing. all time high, or all time low?
were doing shots for every snowflake that hits the ground
Our idea of a "deep conversation" was successfully forming complete sentences.
Nothing like wearing your heels and smelling like henney in the afternoon
Covered in confetti and bad decisions
I get that he's ugly and I deserve better but I will still beat up the girls he hangs out with.
DONT YOU DARE DIE YET THERE IS SO MUCH SEX TO BE HAD
dude girls our age are getting married and having babies and I still can't figure out how to defrost my hotpockets
so it took us like 45 minutes to get into the party.... then when we wanted to leave we were blocked and forced to stay.
....you got kicked INTO a party??
U touched your head and and said "oh look blood" and then looked at me and touched my face... And said war paint
I think pants incapable of making pants work
WE ARE DOOMED.
And not the good kind of doomed. Assuming there is one.
it isn't the robot apocalypse that's for sure
Be there in 20. Want icecream?
sex. I want sex. I like where your heads at though.
Every morning should start with 2 orgasms and a shoulder massage
How did you get so drunk?
Alcohol.
Randomize
