i just smoke outta the biggest bowl i've ever seen. the kid was totally compensating for a tiny weeenie.
The verizon commercial has a magical pinata. Candy just keeps coming out. It must be a portal to a candy universe.
just watched an entire episode so you think you can dance for head. so wasn't worth it
Weirdest conversation with my dad. He just told me he didn't shave his pubes.
All I need in life is some dick and a big mac.
That reminds me of that one time you handcuffed me to a table leg while I was reaching for the vodka.
traded hat for shot of whiskey. lovah yo life. only ADVENTURE NOW. OH GOD IT WENT TO CAPS LOCK
do you think she knows her nickname is brickface?
Legitimate concern. Who am I going to have birthday sex with?
AND FUCKING MGMT JUST CAME ON. CAN I GO DROWN MYSELF IN LESBIANS OR SOMETHING? IS IT TIME TO LESBIAN
we're fated to lesbian
You took my underwater blowjob virginity.
How is it that I've hooked up with not one but two guys in the children's section of a bookstore tonight?
I'm home now if you wanna come over.
Sloane just tried to lick my eyeball. I'm going to regain my composure then I'll be there.
He meowed while sucking on my nipple, it got even weirder when he said he was trying to moo.
I didn't want to leave, I wanted to move into his ass
Randomize
