i am sick of getting naked and seeing how fat i am.
I just masturbated at work. Does that make me a prostitute since i just technically got paid to have sex?
Yay Minnesota! I can't believe there's now a US Senator who has taken more acid than we have
Get in the lobby, you have to sign my boxers
you know it takes a lot for me to use utensils conservatively
Dude I reek of $2.50 pitchers, $1 off/pack marlboro cigs, and fear.
Fear?
FEAR.
Are we doing anything tonight after class for Valentine's Day or just being lazy and having sex?
If you expect me to say anything other than 'lazy and sex' you're crazzzzy!
It's official, there's a sex tape of me floating around some high school
Just be aware that next year I will probably try to seduce you to avoid going to the gym
well smoking weed has become a deal breaker for me so I pretty much use "let's go smoke a blunt" as an icebreaker
How do I put this... You're dating Ricky from Trailer Park Boys. Stop eye-fucking him and actually listen to what he says for once. He actually said "I self-learned that myself, basically" while rolling a joint. He's worse than your unskilled magician ex that accidentally cut off three of his own fingers
Okay but look at his jawline. I NEED TO RIDE IT.
So you can text and rub it at the same time? Bravo.
I can do anything and masturbate, if I truly wanted to.
You sealing the pinky promise with a shot was much better than just kissing it
Think he has a gf
Yea that shit doesn’t necessarily stop me
Randomize
