Either he has two lazy eyes or he really likes my tits..
everytime he calls himself the maxipad master i can't help but wonder what costume that would involve.
Admittedly I was a little ambitious with some of the positions but you walked in during the worst of it.
I wish you could order shots online.
so whats your words to drink to for the state of the union? mine are 'change' 'fight' and 'you know'.
mine is 'the'.
I just saw someone EAT a flashcard out of frustration. Finals suck.
may have given a homeless man 70 dollars in exchange for his sandals. so yea, i'm going as jesus for next halloween.
Say something like you want him to fuck you behind a McDonald's. Guys secretly love weird shit like that.
True as that may be, are you coming to the birth of my imaginary child or not?
You know how there are wrinkles in your brain? What if they were filled with potato chips? That's kind of how my head feels now.
Did I mention I hooked up with another country star? I think I need some sort of trophy for each time, yah know? Or like a sash and I win a badge or patch for each person. Like a slutty Girl Scout.
Whatever the emoticon is for "balls deep". That.
I have never paid for drugs and I'm sure not going to start today especially on a holiday
at first i said "no rollerblading if I'm going to be drunk," but we all know how that went
I'm always down for nudity.
Randomize
