put your party hat on. and by party hat I mean no panties
If you are in NYC and not seeing anyone, you should come fucke me now because:1 i am not in love with you anymore, 2 i am drunk enough where i won't feel the n eed to kisx you awardly to avoid your beard, 3we have unfinished business that i wpn't get -assed unyil orgass have been had, 4 i really really want to
Did you really just text me at 6:35 in the morning asking where the condoms were? I moved out a year ago.
I'm drunk at a gay bar with my riding crop. God save the queens
Congratulations, your dick has been selected to participate in my birthday sex. Please reply with a response.
Do I have a choice?
I am sorry, you're response was not recognized. Please try again.
A gentleman never tells..... therefore i will neither confirm nor deny the attatched photos
You wanna know how bad I feel? I couldn't get out of bed to get the remote, so I just downloaded the comcast app on my phone so I could change the channels
His flight is delayed. Mother Nature is delaying me from sex.
It's ok, it's locked within patented Sealrite technology. That puke is staying fresh
Just had to stop myself from doing a bump on the Disney bus. The struggle is real.
Eating an avocado like an apple while doing shots of fireball and watching finding nemo. I need to get my shit together.
I definitely fucked a Trump supporter last night but I wouldn't let him fully admit it because then I would've had to leave and his cock and abs were too perfect
I usually do that but weve been going unprotected with tribal fertility symbols painted above my door
Literally.... Guy kissing himself in mirror in this hotel elevator
It wasn't my fault.
You let her suck your neck. Yes it was your fault.
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