Booty call?
Dude you don't even follow my twitter
So his roomate was eating breakfast when I was sneaking out. He's the guy I took home from jessicas wedding. I ended up eating coco puffs with him
Just another sign I need to get out of this town
I don't care if he is my ex... I have the deed to his dick until someone else fucks him. We broke up 2 years ago.... I am still holding that deed!
please remind me not to sleep with group members until after finals week.
Just don't have "pin the tail on the straight edge" as a party game... Please and thanks...
The cab driver doesn't know where we can find an empire state building shaped dildo either!? What is wrong with NYC!?
that bitch in the red sedan is still teasing me with the ice cream cone. i'm going to show her my dick
Bad things happen to those who bang their lab partner at the beginning of the semester.
There are so many things that would come back to haunt me if I ran for President someday.
like that video of you mad stoned vomiting in the bdubs parking lot after going to a pizza buffet screaming how you needed to make room for froyo
Wat
Do you have any need for a scary clown mask?
Drunk yet?
Well I just did the worm on an empty dance floor while the bridesmaids were serving cake. You tell me.
How do you politely tell a guy that you only kissed him so he would shut the fuck up?
learning about efficiency and effectiveness in an administration seminar. real world application: walking across the street to the pub on break to shotgun a beer.
I opened my eyes to the dog snorting coke, I decided it was best to just close my eyes and forget what I saw
after that bj i gave him, i could fucking punch his mom and he wouldn't give a shit
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