Third unemployed latin in my bed this week. I'm on a roll
Just witnessed a fat girl fall off the treadmill, pop a medicine ball, and drink coke out of a water bottle all in one workout.
i had to sit with a fan pointed directly to my vag for a good 10 minutes
We sang "Whole New World" in harmony and he spun me around. You may now barf from the cuteness.
this is terrible I feel like i'm trapped in a cage with a wild republican
Vodka?
Forever.
Two big black bouncers picked you up and escorted you to the elevator.
I didn't even do anything wrong. For all they knew I could have been on the US Olympic Gymnastic team. Would they kick Gabby Douglas out of a bar? I don't think so.
Do you know how hard it is to be while you're high with a chuck Norris poster in the bathroom?
Plus he stuck it in when you were sleeping which would have been the tipping point for me but you art school kids are all liberal and shit
My sheer presence has sent the hipsters running in terror. I expect no problems.
That's MADAM THUNDERCUNT to you
Slap a cop in the butt for a felony charge. Check.
Its just akward. Everytime he tells me he loves me, I have to respond with, I love having sex with you. and he just stares at me in amazement
Pretty sure I scared her away last night by putting a vodka tampon in my ass
So. Um. Hypothetically speaking...how would one get a squirrel out of the house?
Randomize
