some dude just recognized me causeg he had a pic of us making out onvhis phone
May have finally hit rock bottom...bouncer from the strip club informed me I wore the same shirt last night
No I remember falling down the stairs I just don't remember it hurting.
after giving each other head, we had a really nice post-oral heart to heart. found out he lost his virginity in a threesome.
Call 911 I'm faking my own death so this fat chick leaves my room
2nd semester senior, always drunk. at this point if i don't get a good parking spot, i turn around and drive home
...She was shooting whiskey using a turkey baster...i was horrified.
It'll be like a meth lab. But with jello.
So, I'm playing the Doctor Who drinking game with my dogs, but they don't understand quite when to drink. Still counts as successful, though, right?
Pack light, we're going straight to bar from the train. No place to put our shit.
Dude all I'm bringing is my dick and a phone charger.
I'm naked, I'm drunk, and I'm all up on social media right now
You think he will forgive me for the paper being a week late if I bring him a beer?
...it's a 9am class...
Also I think I set a new personal record. Definitely slept with him less than 45 minutes after meeting him. Oh god my life.
So you're saying that I ended up challenging a dude to Uno then proceed to punch them in the face?
The neighbor just poured gasoline on his 2 brush fires and proceeded to shoot Roman candles at them 🤔
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