Oh just a soda. I'm "driving"
you miss my big massive throbbing cock dont you?
Woah.
that's not how you spell hell yes.
i think im having one of those erections lasting four or more hours
med student doing my blood work at the AIDS clinic just hit on me after I told him i was having unprotected sex, but didn't think i had HIV.
Make good choices ;) This is your automated cockblock message
... thanks for letting me perform minor surgery on myself last night.
I figured if you were smart enough to sterilize with vodka, you could handle it.
All I remember is you introducing yourself to the entire basketball team using the line "I'll show you a slam dunk."
No mixer. Vodka in yogurt?
Grad practice is like a live scrapbook of my drunken sexual encounters
Just saw 1 guy dressed as a cow and another dressed as a shrimp dancing on the side of the road. We're turning around I NEED to dance with them.
We did a lot of coke and Bedazzled the couch. It seemed like a good idea at the time.
YES. YOU ARE GOING TO HAVE SEX WITH ME WHILE I SING LES MIS.
I still don't know why she was so offended when I emerged from the bathroom and told her my balls were now clean.
All he gave me was a sore vagina and film suggestions
Just woke up beside some twink in a kilt.. how is your sunday going
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