Just heard the new 'We are the world' ... Can I get my 10 bucks for Haiti back?
I save people's lives for a living, but I want to ruin his marriage.
I'm about to tackle a 10 year old off a sea doo
But when he came on my stomach I noticed how tan I was!
Knitting and drinking wine. Forget my 21st birthday, might as well just skip to my 60th
Isiahs hammered. And just came in to get his skateboard and said he has to prove something. This can't end well
Are you still crying. What are you doing. Have 10 shots of tequila.
I got a message from the hook up gods today that it's time to move on. It came in the form of me being shoved in a closet naked and stuck in there for 30 min well he watched boy meets world with his brother.
He barged in the room with no shirt on, all fucking ripped with a half keg under one arm. Sara now calls him Bronan the Beerbarian
Do you think kicking my coke habit is a good personal goal to put down on the evaluation form?
I'm 10 cats away from completing my post divorce transformation.
What is my life coming to that I have to cross state lines to get laid?
I changed his contact info to "NO" and a picture of satan
Got really high to see my fist college experience unfold. Too high to find my classroom but I found the McDonald's down the street
Failing this, see a doctor for elephant tranquillisers, to be taken with whiskey orally, twice at dawn.
Randomize
