i think my tv is drunk
Call me Kermit cause I'm about to go piggin
If it makes you feel better he went down on me when i had a yeast infection.
Do NOT cum in me, on me, or in my bed.
Is it possible for Craig Seger to wear a normal suit and not look like an asshole on national tv?
I can get orange kush...
GET IT NOW! WHY IS THERE A DOT DOT DOT?!
I literally just wielded a katana to save a child's life. What did you do today?
My goal is to upperdeck the house I'm at, because it's some girl I don't know's birthday. Welcome to adulthood, bitch.
You were riding my three year old's train yelling, 'I think I can, I think I can!!'
I thought I could.
We're you guys there last night when everyone started chanting "Nacho Steph"? Someone picked me up, carried me to the nacho cheese and made me do a nacho cheese stand.
Trying to figure out the logistics of putting my laptop speakers on this plate with the last slice of pizza. Too drunk to move the plate. Not an option.
Went to night shots with Kayla... she punched this guy and I got his friends number. Not sure if she's the best or worst wingman ever.
2013: the year of legs covered in hair and pregnancy scares.
It just smells like spaghetti and despair.
We were having sex and he started doing some weird swivel move. I was like wtf and he said sorry just trying to pop my knee.
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