That's when you crack a 10am beer
I just watched the quarterback of Purdue get shut down by a girl at a bar. not a good omen
vegan vag taste different. and not a good different
I don't think the TSA agent thought getting iced while searching my bag was as funny as I did.
i've never heard her scream louder than when the koreans scored. what am i lacking in bed?
because whats more american than sleeping with a westpoint cadet on the 4th of july?
His apology was sex and a subway sandwich. Strangely, I'm okay with that.
at what point last night did we decide it was okay to let me hitch hike to another bar?
Unlike bears, this weekend is not the #1 threat to America. It is, however, the #1 threat to my liver
That hot shower felt like it washed away all of my problems... Except being pregnant... Ps just found out I'm pregnant. Fuck.
No one will ever find true happiness until they have gotten stoned and taken off the bra they've been wearing all day.
You, my dear friend, are a poet of the deep mental longings of women worldwide.
There's weed in my toothpaste. Explain.
he sneezed into my face mid-kiss
Bless his heart
Baked goods and tits. Hard to go wrong there.
well we started off by chasing vodka with chocolate milk and ended up trying to befriend a crippled raccoon so that should tell you how our night went
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