How's tricks little girl?
Trix are for kids, old man.
How long until YT realizes that it's a man?
Sign #1 this conference will suck: Ice breaker question, how many proud virgins do we have in the room, overwhelming response. Looks like I'm not getting laid this weekend.
I wish i could be on x for the rest of my life.
in my defence, i did try to get you to put your shirt back on, then you screamed at me to stop telling you what to do
When I come over I'm bringing "Socky" the Alcoholism Prevention puppet, today he is going to tell you boys about his FAVORITE word---its called "moderation"
The intern claims someone glued plastic eyeballs to his penis last night. He going to show everyone in the conference room at 3pm. There is a $5 cover charge.
Cock is NEVER random. You may quote me on that.
I fell asleep after the worst sex of my life and now I'm snowed in with him. SEND HELP. CALL FEMA. GET ME OUT OF HERE.
As a general rule of thumb, I don't call until the claw marks have healed.
fuck Derek. I choose weed. weed isn't angry and would never ask me to be someone I'm not.
if becoming an adult is chugging a bottle of wine in your bed and crying about your stresses while your dog watches you, sign me up
god dammit I AM NO LONGER PUTTING UP WITH YOUR HETEROSEXUALITY I QUIT
I'm going to ride your dick until it falls off. That horny.
I'm equal parts terrified and turned on. Come over.
Listen, I love you but you cannot refer to your dick as the holy sister anymore
Randomize
