we sang "a whole new world" together. either he's my gay best friend or the love of my life.
When i woke up this morning she asked me 'when did you first find out that you could see the future.' I gotta stop drinking.
do you remember waking up from your blackout, kissing me ever so softly on the stomach, and saying "i love you bro. so much," then passing back out?
He was sitting cross legged outside his tent repeatedly hitting the ground with a hammer and shouting 'this.is.a.good.idea.'
He seriously just asked the doctor if taking the medicine for chlamydia was going to cut into his drinking time. Never let it be said that he is not dedicated.
The goblet must only be used for good. And vodka. And anything t-pain would be proud of.
I mean I drunk but not enough to handle a Scientology convention
Be careful. Don't drive if your body turns into a caterpillar again.
Apparently getting dressed is an all-day activity.
Puke, feathers, beads, and solo cups all on my way to class. I'm surprised anyone's alive after this weekend.
That unicorn pillow pet really made sleeping with my head in the toilet a little better.
Literally every boy I've dated is now in a somewhat successful band. My vagina has obviously been blessed by the rock gods.
I mean when you laced a shot with $200 worth of cocaine I could see why you'd be mad when somebody drops it
that game of battleshots got way too fucking intense. why does the couch have burn marks now.
She swallowed the car key because she thought we were really going to make her drive.
Randomize
