I'm playing musical beds - it's not very fun
please say your awake. the girl i brought home last night...any idea on a name? she isnt up yet...
Yeah i mean there's 3 guys fighting over me. It would just be bitchy of me not to get with at least 1.
I had a dream that chipotle was out of burritos... Was more like a nightmare.. Gotta go make sure it wasn't real now
on the way to work, i saw an empty wine bottle sitting in the middle of an intersection. i thought of you.
i can respect that.
The world would have a new energy source if someone would just take a blacklight to the backseat of that slut's car
i really wish james franco would like my vagina
The stripper from Delilahs paid the desk clerk to find out my room #. Either Im doin something very right or she's doing it worng.
Someone shattered a urinal.
Sorry I never showed up last night. It was between spending time with you and our freinds or having violent multiple orgasims. I chose the low road.
Sometimes things go your way and sometimes you get hit on by a fat drunk girl.
It's basically the same plan, only step one gets revised to "look hot enough that he forgets I fucked his roommate"
Oh thank the gods of upholstery, i thought that was never coming out...
Not a or good or bad impression, just that you were all basically naked playing beer bong in sombreros and ties. Casual.
Feel weird saying this on Facebook, but a dildo collecting demigod sounds like somebody I'd at least hang with for a minute.
Randomize
