Exactly how deep of a burn should you have when you pee before becoming legitimately concerned?
He could list all of the presidents! Every one, and in order!! I was so impressed the least I could do was give him a blow job.
Ah, yes. Making our founding fathers proud.
My bracket is officially just a list of teams that lost.
the plan is to continue having sex with all three of them until my birthday, and then once they've given me their presents, they can find out about each other.
Not sure. We'll pass out on that bridge when we stumble to it.
after i talked him through a bulleted list of why we couldn't have sex he just said "but it would be fun...."
I can't tell which way is up. Too many corners around his house too. An arbitary assimilation of edges.
Christ, I swear you are the high man's Dr. Seuss.
View of Vancouver Bay is obscured though the greasy hand prints from fucking against the window. Tip maid well.
Seriously, he's as bad as Joffrey. I hope this ends like Game Of Thrones did.
Pretty sure my boss knows there's Jack smell coming out of my pores right now... He just gave me a look...
Working nightshift means its never too early to start drinking- and you can quote me on that
I need something that says "I'm gay sometimes but I feel scorned by my straight, non-committal lover, so I'm here to get drunk and make out, and possibly end up in a bathroom with someone who's name I won't remember tomorrow"
Please wake up and help me figure out how I woke up on the floor with my head under the couch
My roommate just woke up to me masturbating in our room. I figured this would happen eventually.
I woke up on the damn lawn again...it's not even summer yet
Randomize
