Looking at the victoria's secret website makes the ice cream I'm eating taste like sadness and obesity
I just woke up at my desk with "To Whommmmmmmmm" typed on a letter. I have no memory of waking up, getting dressed or driving in.
if you really think there are plastic pots safe for the stove i fear for your future landlords.
Struggs. It's also 90 degrees out but I'm not sure I can feel heat or cold any more. Too hungover.
I think if I could use my boobs as a second pair of hands everything would be ok
I just tipped the cab driver with pistachio nuts. And he loved it.
She called my landing strip a "vagina mohawk"....
Lesbians are weird.
Just played slippy cup. Flip cup plus slip n slide. What did you do with your fourth of july?
Im going..... Drinking all day and hand jobs from 18yr old emo rich girls that are just trying to get back at mom and dad for being to protective...SOLD
He told me I was the only person he wanted to fuck in his rental mini van. Thats so romantic for a fuck buddy relationship.
I definitely think in addition to buying paint ball guns this summer we should invest in a breathalyzer. That way every drunk night turns into a competition, who can blow over the legal limit more. The loser gets shot while hungover. Shit goes hand in hand if you ask me.
I saw a shooting star while he was eating me out at 3am by my neighbors pool. Doesn't get more magical than that
Her ass is the reason I still believe in a higher power
we had a full conversation and he only brought up drugs twice. overall I'd call it a success
I hope a pyrotechnic goes off in your asshole and seals it shut for life.
Me too.
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