i blew a .213 what kind of thug blows the compton area code exactly? this guy
My dick has been asking about u. He said he didn't do anything wrong n I'm a dumbass
You should have seen the look on the cashiers face when I was buying steel reserve with a suit on.
We walked in and they were fucking to Somewhere Over the Rainbow... I need a new roommate.
I would get the one fuckin stripper that's a lesbian. THE ONLY ONE
I can't think of anything besides pubic hair fallout. Ugh.
He went into the alley to piss and came back a minute later with a case of Bud Select. I'm speechless.
Well see how he likes it when I randomly start crying and saying my dads name during sex I WILL RUIN ALL HIS FUTURE BONERS
She was mad I came so fast. I was like, It's the Olympics! Fastest time wins! We can train you in the offseason.
You told the cashier at McDonald's not to smell the ones cause you had just got back from the strip club. Good deed.
You know when you meet a penis that looks like it was made out of all your hopes and dreams?
Hey dude. I've got a mini fridge in my closet now so we don't have to worry about getting drunk and falling down the stairs on our way to get more beer.
I resisted the urge to announce that it looks like a big crystal butt plug
Turns out my mom didn't really want to know I was in a new dimension last night from smoking so much.
I miss your drunken presence, and strong odor of hard liquor and potent weed.
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