Had sex with him. My tampon is now in my brain. May need surgery.
Someone just pulled taco bell tacos out of their purse in class....2 problems with here. 1) this class is nutrition 2) taco bell is not open this early.
She kept saying the tortilla understood her. I honestly don't know where she found a tortilla at the pool.
It wasn't a threesome, it was me making out with one while looking at the other one screaming "does this make you jealous?"
just mapquested my walk of shame from saturday..bye bye freshman 15
Happy heartbreak day....you got chocolates, I'm eating them/ throwing them out the window at passing couples
You left the resturant and came back with a McDonalds burger in your pocket so ya...no more pregaming birthday dinners. Especially since it wasn't your birthday.
I drunkenly took 3 laxatives last night since I felt fat.... this is going to be a rough morning
He told me we were going to a cabin. It's just logs and a tarp made into walls. This night can go either way at this point.
i don't knpow whats goin on i think theyre sacrificeing me to th tequila gods
Only I could get hit on by homophobic straight guys in a drag bar.
He FaceTimed me fucking his new girlfriend. He was wearing a banana costume.
Considering we're about to fuck, I really need your girlfriend to stop liking all my Facebook posts.
Well I may have gotten laid but I over drafted buying pizza so I think that negates everything
Oh BTW the next time I see you I don't care where we are your dick will be going into some part of my body.
Randomize
