Everytime we come here you have an ex here.
just so you know, the whole club saw your tits last night. and booed.
I just told this girl who bought a pregnancy test "good luck"
Then you jumped off your bed with your arms outstretched, yelled "I'm Goliath, watch out New York!" and then began singing the Gargoyles theme song as you 'soared' around your room.
Don't be ridiculous, the Gargoyles theme song has no words. How could I sing that mess?
You just started going "da da da da da! da da da da da! DA DA!!" then going "swoosh" as you glided about.
I'm watching Intervention to get pumped up for tonight
Giving the kids Children's Claritin and calling it candy.....Is it setting them up for drug abuse later?
You guys better make it up to the cabin in time for mud wrestling on Saturday. I'm not kidding. You know when I joke, and now is not one of those times.
I'm tired of stuffing my fat into a slutty costume. Next year let's go as homeless girls. Cute ones. In leggings with camel toe.
Highlight of the week: I had sex with a B movie star wearing an eye patch.
Life Epiphany- I need to have children so I can be the drunk grandma at family functions. Its my destiny.
Shotgunning beers to finish a midterm project at 3am is a good idea right?
My vibrator looks like a lipstick tube. So does my mace. I just realized the potential problems of keeping them both in the same bag.
If there's one thing i learned from edward 40hands is that i couldnt handle life with bottles for hands
I forgot what I was gonna say, but I'm pretty excited to not be pregnant.
Can you come over?
Sex??
Sure but there’s also a squirrel in my garage I need you to take care of.
Randomize
