Doing final review now. Then epic shit. Then going to take it. Should start it be 1030. Done by 2. Drunk by 3. Hammered by 4. Blacked out by 5. Streaking by 6. Jail sometime after that
google image searching george stephanopoulos at 1 AM on a saturday night...once again
I'm at the point in my career when i know a sites a trap and isn't real porn
My boyfriend texted me as I was texting some random hookup from last night. His text: "Morning baby" My response: "Your cum is in my hair"
Well, I guess this was as good a night as any to find out I don't know how to use my fire extinguisher.
Fuck men. I'm going to go eat a package of cookie dough and get fat. I hope I die of salmonella.
she laid there and continued moaning loudly for like 10 minutes after we were done, just so that her mom would be jealous
I ate a pepperoni off of someone's floor last night. We need to talk.
I got carried to one bar. Got a piggy back ride to the next bar. I was just testing our drinking team for st pattys day to make sure they are able to handle me more drunk than that.
Lets be real here, you loved it when I was on top. With and without the machete.
Pants off. Spirits lifted.
So I was trying to finish off that sick uv whipped and I chased it with yogurt. Not a good idea
I'm crying at a bar by myself drinking a pear martini drawing things dicks are scared of. How was your day?
You kidnapped her dog. I don't care that you and the dog are epic bros, that's just not cool. Return him.
She's not allowed to do acid anymore... she started crying because she thought she was an eagle.
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