I just woke up in bed with 4 girls. Either i dont remember the best night of my life or they think im gay.
Apparently throwing up on your own cape is still a party foul
Even when three police cars surrounded us you kept telling us not to worry because 'only good things can happen'.
You don't have to be drunk! I've licked your asshole before
Aaaaand I just watched him face plant in front of the taxi. This is why we don't invite him to margarita night.
Of course I'm not above using aladdin and pot to get laid, this is america
My phone broke again .... im not really sure how im going 2 explain the teeth marks to the ppl at the Verizon store
Yea I saw a friend of yours carrying your limp body somewhere
Jk. Anyone who everbeers with me is my type.
We were so drunk that when I broke the bottom off a pint glass we decided to make it into a candle holder. How does that happen?!
The annual Father's Day Wake and Bake has been canceled due to lack of hustle.
Well its all fun and games until you get naked with your ex in the shower. that's NOT flirting
You don't have issues. You're a consenting adult having sex at work. Go you.
You should not have followed "the guy who peed in my bed" with "he smells good."
I'm just now realizing I've slept with guys from three different decades over the past year. That's gotta be some sort of record.
Randomize
