You know you have a problem when the only thing that saves you is that you drank so late into the night that you sleep through the designated walk of shame time window
he fingered me, smelled his fingers, then asked me what i ate today..
he came faster then a bring it on movie goes to dvd
after I pulled back my foreskin she said, "cool like a transformer". I really like her now.
Hey, don't feel sorry for me, the two girls in front of me just ordered 18 dollars worth of taco bell. Life could be worse.
i woke up with a wedding ring drawn on my finger...if this was vegas id be worried
I feel like I need to get a restraining order against him but I'd probably be the one to break it.
I was mixing candy canes and coors light and was in a great place.
I had to drink a couple beers this morning so I could attend the keg race. Hangover had to dissipate or it wasn't happening.
I'm 25 and she is 19. She wants to practice blowjobs on me because of my stamina. Not only does the GI bill pay for me to go to school I am teaching a freshman blowjob course. I love Texas.
I'll send you pictures of my nipples so you don't feel left out.
so the casino kicked my ass last night, i'm pretty sure i hit a new level of hungover....just showered with my sunglasses on because the bathroom light is too bright
my hair smells like a mixture of fireworks and rotten eggs with a hint of shame. it's so strong it's keeping me awake.
she said that no one there was hot enough for her so she then proceeded to give the passed out person a lap dance because he was "her type."
Your Saturday night was spent at the opera, mine was spent exchanging naked pics with a hot middle aged man that is so ripped that he looks like he's photoshopped. This is why we're blood sisters. We balance each other out.
I hate you so hard.
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