Bisexual people are plain selfish.
the day after is always just damage control
My dad just walked in on me screwing the chick from the bar...the look of relief on his face was sort of hurtful.
just found my diary from when i was 14. i demand a drinking game of this.
Just saw the first guy I gave head to lose in the french open...some how I feel better that my mistake made it to the same mistake as our relationship, the third round. Don't judge.
I woke up on the stairs at of a Disneyland hotel. Yes, my night was amazing.
Apparently I kept telling people I was a pro tennis player again...
we agreed that it was acceptable to get the cat high as long as we gave her a lot of food.
we didnt even make it to the club...the two of us were sharing a plastc bag in the taxi puking into it.
so, she was so drunk she tried stabbing me with a corn dog stick
Thanks for launching me off you reverse cowgirl. I think I chipped a tooth.
I DO have hobbies! I drink. I drink more. I catfish men on Grindr with photos of guys who are less attractive than me. I listen to Lovecraftian podcasts. I'm very well-rounded.
You threw up at the outdoor bar and it was pretty...astonishing just how much can come out of such a small human.
He stole my heart. I stole his identity.
So today the police came to my dorm to look for weed, i didn't have any in the room, so i let them in. they apologized for any inconvenience and then left after finding nothing. then i realized i was wearing gauges with weed leaves on them lol
Randomize
