You know im sick of people that are still obsessed w obama. that was sooooo last year
You would only drink if the space jam soundtrack was playing, you thought it was hilarious that before every shot you said "y'all ready for this".
Theres a baby at this concert double fisting pacifiers. shes gunna do great in college.
I feel like I need to get a restraining order against him but I'd probably be the one to break it.
please hold off on going into labor, i might need you to take me to the free clinic
im sorry but you know it was a good night when you got tasered on the ass and didnt even feel it
Please tell me why your entire hallway smells like microwaved condoms.
you had me at cake vodka
It took too long for people to come up with things in "never have i ever" so we had to change it to "Don't judge me but.."
Sorry I can't go bowling with you guys. I'm getting daytime dick. That's the best kind.
The funny thing is, we kinda did bring guys home cause you had a fort...
I'm mailing you cans of corn and that's final.
We were all day drunk by 2pm. Now I know why they hate Americans
You may be fancy. But you'll never be having cheesy garlic bread and scotch at 3am fancy.
Well, why would you bring gelado into a strip club?
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