Mr ***** is in bed with his super hot wife giving her 18 inches of pleasure
yeah, but that could mean anything in Denmark.
i got us presents. or arrested. we shall see!
At lowes after workin outside. Kid behind me says "mommy that man smells like a taco" yes she was talking about me.
she said she didn't want to sleep with me again because I wasnt a generous lover. I ignored her slight moustache, didnt i? i think thats pretty damn generous
currently hungover, lying in bed and cutting cheese with my drivers license. ashamed? not even a little bit.
I don't care if the man pisses on teenage girls, he's enchanting.
At least in the future when we're all real people we can laugh about the time we all had scabies together?
I know you think I'm being paranoid, but can you please make sure Danny doesn't rub my wedding invitation on his balls?
My mouth taste like pussy and my dad noticed. Hahahaha
I have meat and whiskey. will you bring condoms?
The best part of Easter was watching all his colorblind cousins try to find the eggs.
Whoever was doing lines off my iPad is a dick. Also bring Gatorade, for I hunger
For Who flesh?
Update: the condoms are expired and Canadians are NOT to be trusted!
found a thong and $20 in my right pocket. it's going to be a good day
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