I threw up red last night... I wanted to pinch myself because it wasn't green.
Just witnessed a circumcision at clinical. i suddenly feel a sense of reconciliation over every guy who's done me dirty...
He literally stopped in the middle of sex to look up sex positions on his iPhone...
Using that mug my little cousin painted for me as an ashtray for my weed...at least next time he asks me if I'm using it I can say yes
The thing i'm gunna miss the most about college is peeing while brushing my teeth in the shower without being judged. You just can't do that anywhere else
and I think you ate the old crusty spaghetti on the counter when we came home last night judging by the carnage
She wanted to make popcorn, but the air-popper was broken. So she dumped the entire container of kernels into the clothes dryer. Drunk movie night was a success!
I can't be here...my therapist just watched me take tequila shots
Just told my shrink " this was a year for whoring around"
You mowed a straight line through three yards because you were, and I fucking quote, "In the zone." I think they know.
I feel as though my head has drastically changed shape
He said he's in to distance fucking. I thought he just mean long durations. We fucked on a towel all the way down his tile hallway accross his kitchen and into the living room
Our first time hooking up was on New Years and we've managed to hook up every holiday since, I'm hoping this lasts until 2016 just to fulfill my American Holiday sex fantasy I never knew I had
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU
MANY MANY THINGS AND MOST OF THEM ARE YOUR FUCKING FAULT
Does the girl you just banged want anything from Taco Bell?
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