why does my vagina smell like weed?
omg thats a great idea
Well he asked to have a sober hang out so i guess that constitutes as a date in college
Before we started fucking, he laid me on the bed, and asked my what my sleep number was, so that i would be "comfy"
He asked me when I was coming to bed while simultaneously drilling a fart into the mattress. Don't fucking get married.
You know you have done too many drugs when you gum the sugar off your margarita without even thinking twice
This medicine is making me nuts. I just woke up and I thought I was in a glass case with Asians staring at me.
I tried to prevent a bar fight. By convincing a guy whacked out on Molly to slap the ass of everyone who was arguing and shout "WOO" each time. I'm proud, surprised, and intrigued that it calmed everyone down so quickly...
I have really important information for you regarding the furry convention this weekend
We were having a serious discussion about Blue's Clues and I just kept thinking, 'you've seen me naked'.
I can still taste the Jäger. I'm gonna shoot myself.
We had sex on his grandparents floor... the taxidermy deer was staring at me the whole time!
If you hear death cries, thats me singing. Just let me be.
Sorry for throwing up in your humidifier last night, I thought it was some sort of electrical garbage can
How ya feelin' champ?
Like a million bucks that was soaked in alcohol.
The guy next to me on the bus has one hole in his jeans that has over 20 mini dicks drawn on his leg. Classic.
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