I bet he comes in French.
Well maybe next time you won't tell me to do whatever I want.
I kinda look like a classier blonde kenny powers.
And that's when he stuck his finger up his own ass to prove it would feel good...
Wait time out. Did I start last night with pants?
votre penis est TRES GRAND. i used vous because your penis is SO big
I specifically found a fat girl to lift me up on her shoulders.\n\nIt was glorious.
So I did end up texting him last night... I asked him how he felt about haircuts... not sure where I was going with that one?
How would I get in touch with Carly Rae Jepsen if I wanted to thank her for the loss of my virginity?
im going to hold it over his head for all of eternity. when his children are born i am going to go to the hospital as his wife is giving birth and shove the picture in the childs face, so the first time they see their father is in a drunken stupor looking like a jackass.
Well you finally jumped into that tree you've always wanted into and some girl gave you an 8.5. You were very happy.
Holy high batman
The hairdryer was like a fuckin obstacle course
We have angered the beer gods. It feels like I'm shitting angry cats.
New Orleans is just like you. Dirty but beautiful and will always have a special place in my heart
I just convinced a telemarketer I live in a tree.
What did he say?
He still asked if I want a home security system.
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