last night you decided it was time to "get organized" and "straighten out your life." You pulled out a bag of troll dolls, sorted through them and got nostalgic. You demanded both andy and i take one and keep it forever.
I just stuffed five dollars in my near empty box of camels to remind myself to buy more. And my mom says I don't budget my money
threw up during christmas carols. the audience at the church seemed to immediately know i was a college student
I'm picking out a half way decent top so if I get arrested I'll have a respectable mug shot photo. Always be prepared.
I really want to know why half of my kitchen floor is missing.
And nobody saved him?? That chick had like three teeth TOPS
Waking and baking in my bathtub. In a giant sweater. And no pants. This is going to be the best 420 ever.
I see you've set aside this special time to humiliate yourself in public.
He just told me the blow job I gave him was like a journey
I'm still in my ugly sweater and underwear drinking coffee next to a plate of assorted treats we stole from the party. I got a new sweater by the way, its shoulderpad-y and looks like a news anchor got thrown up on by Liberace. I'm pretty proud.
What I've learned from glowsticks: glowing things are not safe to eat
Okay so I just had a really great idea
no.
But what we lack in money, we make up for in dry humor and drugs
Also, we can't be seen together looking suspicious or sexually satisfied
She is still drunk from the night before, sitting here eating KFC mashed potatoes and drinking Arbor Mist before Anatomy lab.
Randomize
