I just walked by a homeless man reading the money section of USA Today...
its easy. just sleep with a bunch of guys until one falls in love
i've decided to use this saturday afternoon to take care of my pube situation
Just stole a pregnancy test from Wegmans because I didn't want to pay 13 dollars to find out my life is over.
When i asked him what happened all he said was, the toucan... the toucan... over and over again.
One reason I don't come to Portland. I saw 8 guys I have had sex with last night. At the same party.
By 8 I mean 9.
And by 9 I mean 10.
put me on a leash or i'm going to fuck someone
Either I'm tripping balls or my dog has super powers.
Really? Uh ohh sounds like a double date with extra stripper funnnn
He has a lot of emotional energy invested in your vagina.
Don't laugh, but I might need some advice on how to ride a crooked dick.
Yeeeaahhh, I'm in no rush to dismiss a level 6 booty-call that pays my bar tabs and understands my Harry Potter obsession.
No I don't want to see you. You're the reason that I'm going to need a new liver by the time I'm 30.
Drunk Sam makes promises that Sober Sam can't keep
these past three weeks have been a real "fuck you" to my liver
Randomize